Procrastination as a life choice

I've come to the sad conclusion that the reason I blog is to procrastinate the 'real' work I'm supposed to be doing. My novel is not complete, my novel should be complete, my agent would have every right to be thoroughly disgusted with my lack of completion. What does this say about me as a person? I disgust myself, so I sit here writing a blog that no one will read to delay hitting the keyboard and producing a manuscript that is good enough to be sent on to an editor. Am I afraid of success? NO. I crave success more than chocolate. So why can't I discipline myself to produce a daily quota of words in an attempt to finally finish that which I've spent a year of my life working on? 

Are you waiting for an answer? So am I. 

Head Explosion

I just experienced a head explosion. It was not a pretty sight. I will have to repaint the hallway. I now know why I refuse to enter my kids bedrooms. It's unhealthy. These "kids" I refer to are 21 and 22 years old. My daughter is getting married in a month, if we can find her amidst the discarded clothing, school papers that go back to her freshman year, make-up, dirty towels (2 a day for a month or more add up) and skeletons of projects started but not completed. You expect certain things of your children when they are old enough to shave and have sex. It's not like they were raised this way. No really, they weren't . The downstairs of our house is roach-free without offensive smells. I did not yell, as I might have done a year ago. I quietly collected my head explosion, closed their doors and returned downstairs. In a month's time, my daughter is getting married, leaving home, and setting up a home of her own. I think I'll go visit and leave some dirty panties on her floor. 

Buttercream mints

Spent the morning making buttercream mints for my daughter's bridal shower next weekend. It's really very easy and fun for those of us who enjoyed playing with play dough as children. I've listed the recipe below for anyone who has an occasion coming up or just wants to give something homemade as a gift for someone. I think homemade gifts are the best because it says you've taken the time to do something special for someone and I think our time is very precious indeed.  Plus there's just something 'earthy' about working dough whether it be for breads, pies, or mints. In today's busy world, something as basic as kneading dough makes us slow down and only after slowing down can we hear the wind chimes or notice the small stream of water dribbling down the rocks after last nights rain. It's so easy to get caught up in the 'big event's of life, weddings, graduations, births, that we ignore the the small, the simple, and the common. That's where our authenticity lies, in the everyday. So yes, I enjoyed my morning but more importantly, I'm enjoying my life now.  

Cream Cheese Mints In Candy Molds
CDKitchen http://www.cdkitchen.com

Category: Mints 
Serves/Makes: 6 dozen    |   Difficulty Level: 1    |   Ready In: > 2 hrs

Ingredients:

1 (3-oz) pkg. cream cheese (room temperature)
1/2 teaspoon flavoring (peppermint, butter, almond, wintergreen or whatever)
food coloring or colored sugared (optional)
3 cups confectioners' sugar (as needed)
granulated sugar

Directions:
Mix cheese in bowl until soft. Add coloring and flavoring (very
slowly -- on high humidity days, it will take less); gradually
add the sugar. Mix and knead until it is the consistency of pie
dough or putty. Roll into balls the size of a marble. Dip balls
in granulated sugar and press firmly into a candy mold. Unmold at
once onto waxed paper. Once firm, transfer onto a cake rack and
let dry for a few hours. They will keep a long time if you store
them in an air-tight container. 

Too Much to Handle or Sheer Motivation

Okay, maybe I'm crazy to even consider starting a business in this down economy. Not to mention the fact that my daughter is getting married in June and we're in the last stretch for fittings, flowers, luncheons, showers, favors ... you get the idea. Then my summer courses start at Hollins three days after the wedding, graduate MFA courses are labor intensive, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Oh, and my agent is waiting patiently for my manuscript which I had hoped to have finished by the end of June. So why this need to start this business. INCOME! Writing produces none. Even if this manuscript is accepted by a publisher it will be a while hitting my bank account. Oh, did I mention my husband is also branching out onto his own in the construction field and who is in charge of his books and estimates? You got it. Me, again. I've just made myself very nervous. Is it too much to handle or will it provide the motivation I need?